You Never Know...

I worked a clinical shift on Monday. It was supposed to be a 12 hour shift but it ended up being 15 hours. I got there at 6:00 am and did not walk out until 9:00 pm.  I normally really enjoy my clinical shifts, even though the hours are long and even when it is busy, because I feel like I have made a difference and I love working with the darling little children.

But Monday was different. It was busy from the moment I walked in and it seemed like I couldn't keep up or do anything right. I felt like I was off all day long. Things that normally come easily for me were difficult. And on top of that it seemed like everything that could go wrong went wrong.

It was a very frustrating and stressful day. As I walked out the door that day, I was fairly discouraged. I knew I had not made a difference that day for anyone. I am sure part of the reason I was feeling that way was due to the fact that I was tired and hungry (it was so busy I had not stopped for lunch or dinner; I had a few snacks on the run, but I had not really eaten anything substantial.)

But even the next day, with sleep and food, I still felt bad about how the day had gone. I kept thinking about it and wondering what I could have done differently to help my patients more. Later, as I was telling my sister about my day; how so many things had gone wrong and how I felt like I had failed my patients, I thought of a talk by President Hinckley.

President Hinckley tells of a time he went to a stake conference that he felt did not go well at all. In fact on the way home he tells of feeling like he had not touched even one person for good. He then goes on to share an experience he had years later. I thought I would share an excerpt of his talk:

Then, some years later, I was at another conference in California. At the conclusion of the meeting a man came up to me and said, "You were at a conference a few years ago in such-and-such a place."


"Yes," I said, "I was there, and I remember the occasion."

The man said: "You touched my heart. I came to that meeting out of curiosity. I really had no interest. I was on the verge of leaving the Church. But when it was announced that one of the Twelve Apostles would be there, I decided to go.

"You said something that started me to think. It touched me and stayed with me and stirred me. I decided to alter my course. I turned my life around. I am now living here in California. I have a good job, for which I am grateful. I hope I am a good husband and father. And I am now serving as a counselor in the bishopric of my ward. I am happier than I have ever been at any time in my life."

I thanked him, and when I left him I said to myself, shaking my head: "You never know. You never know whether you do any good. You never know how much good you do." (Gordon B. Hinckley, "To the Women of the Church," Ensign, Nov. 2003, 113)

Isn't President Hinckley wonderful! The whole talk is very good, I will put a link here.

Well, yesterday I was working in the office and went in to see one of the patients I had cared for. That particular patient had a rough day on Monday and I did not feel like I was as available as I wanted to be. I apologized to the Mother that I was not more available that day and she suprised me by saying that she had appreciated my care.  At the end of our conversation she said, "Thanks again Janice."  I walked out of that room and I couldn't help thinking, like President Hinckley, "You never know..."

So, on difficult days or maybe even difficult weeks or months, I offer this experience and President Hinckley's words as a solace:

Now, my dear sisters, that is the way with you. You are doing the best you can, and that best results in good to yourself and to others. Do not nag yourself with a sense of failure. Get on your knees and ask for the blessings of the Lord; then stand on your feet and do what you are asked to do. Then leave the matter in the hands of the Lord. You will discover that you have accomplished something beyond price.